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Mike Lange, the "Voice of the Pittsburgh Penguins", is known as one of the most entertaining broadcasters in american sports. For years he's been announcing the Pens games, and he is yet to miss a game over the last 20 years. He even made a broadcast of a game having the flu and being almost impossible for him to talk. He did not miss a game after being out some years ago.
His enthusiastic style made him a hero for the Pittsburgh people. Among his most famous phrases are "Big Ben stuck one", "He took the heat out of a hot kitchen", "Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one too", and obviously, "Heeeeee shoots and scores", the goal call that also gives name to this site.
It is said that Mike Lange is so good that even a bad hockey game is worth listening to, with his unique style.

Mike Lange's Calls

Goal Calls

Book 'em Dano.
Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one too.
Call Arnold Slick from Turtle Creek.
Get in the fast lane grandma, the bingo game is ready to roll.
Get that dog off my lawn.
Go ahead....Make My Day.
Great balls of fire.
Hallejulah Hollywood.
Heeeeeeeeeee shoots and scores.
He beat [goalie] like a rented mule.
He doesn't know whether to cry or wind his watch.
He's smiling like a butcher's dog.
How much fried chicken can you eat?
I'll be cow kicked.
Ladies and Gentleman, Elvis has just left the building.
Let's go hunt a moose on a Harley.
Look out Loretta.
Michael, Michael Motorcycle.
Never teach a pig to sing.
Oh no, Eddy Spaghetti.
Scratch my back with a hacksaw.
She wants to sell my monkey.
Stop the press.
Ten ho vykouril jako cigaretu. [Said in Czech.
Translation: He smoked him like a bad cigar.]
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog.
You would have to be here to believe it.

Misc Calls

And [player] takes the heat out of a hot kitchen.
And [goalie] says NO.
Believe me.
Big Ben struck one.
Buzzing like beeeeeeeeeees around a hive.
Great shot [optional: by forward name], but a better save
[optional: by goalie here]!
He could have had lunch and dinner too.
He forgot one thing....the puck.
He gave [goalie] more moves than Mae West.
[player] Hasn't scored since the eighth grade picnic.
He got his hand caught in the cookie jar.
He left [defenseman] on the parkway going to the airport.
He knocked [player] on his wallet.
He picked his pocket like he was walking down 5th avenue.
He's all over [player] like a new pair of shoes.
He should get 5 to 10 for robbery on that save.
He was hit so hard his kids will be born dizzy.
He would not be denied.
If you missed [whatever], shame on you for six weeks.
It's a hockey night in Pittsburgh.
It will take a miracle on Grant street for the [team]
to come back from this deficit.
[player, usually Lemieux] Is putting on the ritz.
More patience than Mercy Hospital.
[player] Is like a bulldozer in a construction yard.
[player] Joins the parade.
[player or team] Is throwing out checks like it is the first of the month.
Rebound...there is no rebound.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the action.
The [team] is throwing everything but the kitchen sink.
The Pens are moving from left to right.
[or right to left] (for radio broadcasts)
The turkey is on the table.
Twinkled the twine.
Wrrrrrrrrrrist shot.

Names for Puck

Name for the Glass

Special Occasions

You can spit shine your shoes, the Pens are going dancing with Lord Stanley.
Lord Stanley, Lord Stanley, bring me the brandy.